I know the millions of you who are reading this weblog were waiting for an update from me. Sorry to keep you waiting. You see I was really busy doing performance reviews for my team. No it’s not their final review, it’s their pre-appraisal review. Basically, I use this opportunity to lower the expectations of my subordinates. I make them think that they are useless and might not get anything in the formal appraisal cycle. And then when I hand them peanuts in the form of a raise, they are actually happy. Poor basteds. You should see their faces when I trifle their efforts and tell them that the 18+ hours per day they spent at the office all amount to horseshit. If they don’t cry before they leave my office, I really feel sad. It gives me such satisfaction to see the tension and to see the expression of helplessness on their faces. I only wish I could’ve been there when they tell their hapless wives. Ahhhh!! What fun. Life is good. Praise the lord!!
The reason that I am so miser with raises is that is the company allots us a certain amount for the whole teams raise, including me. So, if I don’t hand them peanuts, then I don’t get anything. Simple economics, baby. Or mathematics depends on whichever way you swing.
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