A raise is out of the question

These kids today have become so greedy. They keep on asking for a raise. They keep telling me that inflation is high and that it is difficult for them to make ends meet. I simply tell them to cut down on luxuries like electricity, water and lunch. Even I have. In fact, I have now started drinking Evian water which is available in India instead of getting it specially bottled and sent from France. You know how hard it is? I also have cut down on my usual eight cups of soya latte with a hazzelnut flavor with whipped cream and Armenian nuts. Yes, I ask the Barista not to add whipped cream to my coffee. See the sacrifices I have to make? And these employees are after my life for a raise. If they are good employees they should not ask for a raise every two years. These are hard times. The revenue from the United States has decreased because of the weakness of the dollar. Even though our companies have now started charging in Euro, we still need to cut about 10% of everybody's salaries across the board to meet our projeted targets. However, the cut only applies to lower management and the frontline. Of course, we will lessen the employees workload by an hour per month. That will also give them that extra time with their families they keep asking for. I still don't understand why people want to spend time with their family. Instead of spending time with their families, they should be thinking about ways to improve their performance at work. God, the kids today are too lazy I tell you.

In the afternoon today, one of my employee came to ask me for a raise. He told me that his wife needs an eye operation soon because his new child was born with some medical disorder. Using my infinite wisdom I told him to get his child admitted to the hospital and then leave it there. No harm no foul. But the fool started to threaten me. I called security first and while security was dragging him out, I told him that he was fired and that he can forget his salary for this month. He immediately turned to mush and begged me for my forgiveness. He said that right now he cannot afford to be jobless even for a day. Being the forgiving person I am, I hired him back with a 15% cut in salary. Also, for the next three weekends he would be coming to my house to do some odd jobs for me like mow my lawn and clean my toilet(s). Of course I have a full-time gardener and two servants to take care of all this, but I need to teach him a lesson. Watching him cry while he cleans my jaccuzi is something I'm going to enjoy immensely. Poor basted. I would've helped him. However, the insurance money that had been given to me to dispense to my team, I have already spent on my ex-girl friend's boob job. Hey, now that I think about it, this gives me an idea. I can make this guy sign papers which will say that the money was used for his wife's eye surgery. And of course he'll sign the papers. He wants his job, na. I knew this blogging thing was a good idea. As they say, to the victor belong the spoils.