Interviews, Delegation and other stories

When I conduct an interview, I don't want to know what you did or what your qualifications are. I don't give a shit about that. All I want to judge is whether you are dumb enough for me to use to further my career. If you are qualified and intelligent, go get a job somewhere else. I don't want you. This company wasn't built on teamwork, quality and integrity. This company was built on backstabbing, huge amounts of ass kissing, and taking credit for someone else's work. And of course, my favorite, blaming a subordinate when things screw up.

I mean if you have an actual vision and ideas, I'm sorry, we don't want you. To me, the perfect fit would be people who are so incapable that no other company would give them a job. One never puts the right person in the right job. You always put an extremely unqualified person for a job. It keeps him indebted to you and the fucker never tries to cross the boss. And if he does, I always have enough proof against him (remember that email you sent which made the client withdraw the project? I have it on multiple files). Also, then you can get them to do stuff like pick up your dry cleaning or take your girlfriend to the abortion clinic. Little things that you can't make time for.

And you may ask, what about the work? Who does the work? Well, that is what subordinates are for. The key to a successful organization is delegation. All the work for the top tier and middle management is handled by our lower management and the frontline. Why else would they need to put in extra hours?

Eg: I had one frontline exec make a beautiful presentation to present to our prospective clients. The poor frontline guy was up all night along with his brother (who had to miss his board exam the next day because of my presentation .... chuckle chuckle) making the presentation, while I was extremely busy errr .... window shopping for a new car and getting a err..ummm... medical massage.

Of course, he won't get paid extra. The poor basted thinks that this will get him extra credit in my mind. Truthfully, I would never promote him. He DOES all the work. Plus he has integrity. Always a no-no. I mean he has never taken credit for someone else's work, never blamed anyone for his screwups, always puts company before self and he has never even taken a day off for any flimsy personal reason and has never ever kissed my ass. He's just not management material. If I promote him, he'll have my job in a year's time.

Sadly, I'll have to have his manager frustrate the hell out of him so that he gets demoralized and leaves on his own. Works out for everybody. That's what they call a win-win situation.